He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
