Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
