I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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