the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
