Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
