I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Congratulations! We have a period
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
