Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
are you so shy because you have an std?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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