WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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