I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
