I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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