Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
