i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
