glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
