a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
