Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
