waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just want to make out with him forever
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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