so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
