i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
