Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
