Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
