The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
