when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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