His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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