Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
