i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
