I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
