coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
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