it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Two words: blizzard sex
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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