I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
