My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
