who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
