East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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