Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
