I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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