do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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