shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
