3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wish I could teleport
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
