and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
