I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
