Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
