Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
