What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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