the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
