Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
