I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
