whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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