Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
