I'm so fucking centered right now
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
