You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
