She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
