i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
