we made out on top of his cat.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
