Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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