this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
